I got chris browned last night
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dignity is for republicans.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
