And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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