I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
