Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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