She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
