all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
