Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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