We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
