can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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