The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Acid is not a monday night drug
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
