My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
