I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
