Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
