her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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