so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
