Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
