either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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