If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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