he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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