Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
