She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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