I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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