Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
