he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
