at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Please don't give away my fajitas
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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