So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
