it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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