Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
