I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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