Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she looked like the before picture.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
