1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
