I got chris browned last night
I met the friendliest cop last night
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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