fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
