Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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