what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
