Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
