ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
