Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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