The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
