i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
