she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
