I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
