The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
