I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
