If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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