im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
