If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
