It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
