ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
