I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
