Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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