you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
