I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
