I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
