im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
